


I'm Picking Up Your Heartbreak

by WhenIFindLoveAgain



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Break Up, Break Up Talk, British Comedy, Comedy, Comedy RPF, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Happy, Happy Ending, Humor, Light-Hearted, M/M, Post-Break Up, Rescue, Tragedy/Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:15:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26947300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenIFindLoveAgain/pseuds/WhenIFindLoveAgain
Summary: After Seungkwan's beautiful Russian wife of the last four years leaves him for a rich Englishman with the air of Richard Gere about him, Vernon comes around too look after Seungkwan
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Boo Seungkwan/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 6





	I'm Picking Up Your Heartbreak

**Author's Note:**

> This is quite sweet really, and, not too sad. It's uplifting, really. Have fun and leave comments xxx

Poor Seungkwan, Vernon thought, walking carefully around the kitchen and picking up pieces of smashed crockery from the hardwood floors before putting them one by one into a rubbish bag. 

Seungkwan, married to a Russian beauty with dark hair, big lips, and hooded eyes called Renata for the last four years had left him for none other than a very rich Englishman in his mid-forties that had the look of Richard Gere about him.

As a result, Seungkwan threw all of Renata's clothes and shoes, handbags and make-up into the lake that their semi-rural property over-looked, and, for good measure, wrecked anything else in the house that she had bought. The crockery, the flower vases, the bed linen, as well as anything she had bought him for yuletides and birthdays, all destroyed.

Knowing Seungkwan as well as himself, Vernon had a uneasy and extremely sad feeling that his best friend was going to be even more heartbroken later and full of regret at destroying the things that had made up the last four years of his life, and, nearly the absolute entirety of his very large heart.

Vernon made Seungkwan a coffee just how he liked it and went upstairs. It was Renata who had called him, in tears, in the back of a cab with the cab driver in the background cooing, trying to calm her down. "He go crazy!" She had exclaimed in English to the New-York raised Vernon, her accent horrifically thick. "He so, so cross - he no hit me or do anything like this but he ruin all my things! He take them to the water, the lake - all in they go! So much money, Vernon! Then he cry but no want me to see him cry and he tell me to fuck off with my Lord of some yucky little county in England where they are all be the inbred with purple toes and yellow antenna, yeah, Vernon?"

Seungkwan was dead to the world and very swollen-eyed, curled up on his side of the bed, hugging a pillow tightly in his sleep. Vernon put the coffee on the bedside table and eased the pillow gently out of Seungkwan's arms, waking him up in the process. Seungkwan flinched out of fear at the initial sight of Vernon, then, calmed down before his eyes watered very, very badly. Vernon was amazed at how all that water didn't flood down Seungkwan's face in one clean go.

"Nata-baby rang me up early this morning because it was late when everything happened." Vernon explained, sitting down on what had been Renata's side of the bed, and, touched Seungkwan's head briefly. "I wanted to see you."

"Nata-bubby's gone." Seungkwan mumbled.

"Yeah, mate, I know." Vernon said softly. "Look, tell me you still got all your wedding photos and that? You didn't piff them into the lake or anything like that, did you?"

"No, she took them with her." Seungkwan answered. He sat up. Vernon handed him the coffee. Seungkwan gulped it down, not appearing to be getting scalded.

"I've made a really, really big fucking mess." Seungkwan said sheepishly, ducking his head shamefully.

"All cleaned up." Vernon said. "95% of it is, anyway." He shrugged, pinching Seungkwan's coffee and having a quick swig before giving it back. Seungkwan was in a white shirt and latte-toned sleeping pants, and, was quite happy to be tucked up beneath the covers. He peered at Vernon.

"What's the 5% that isn't?" He questioned.

"Nata's clothes on the bottom of the lake." Vernon answered simply.

Vernon and Seungkwan looked at each other before nearly pissing themselves laughing. 

"We really need to go and get them out." Seungkwan managed to say.

"Yeah, we do, don't we?" Vernon agreed.

"Yeah, need to wash and try them and send them to her." Seungkwan thumbed the bridge of his nose, trying to wake himself up more as a wave of tiredness swept over his being.

"What, so she looks hot for the new guy?" Vernon quipped, raising an eyebrow sardonically, a mild "fuck you" to Renata.

"She's been looking hot for the new guy for the last seven months, trust me, it won't hurt." Seungkwan remarked. 

An hour later, and, the two young men sodding wet, full of laughter, and, to be honest, sand if every single orifice, they had had only a very, very minor achievement.

Seungkwan figured that he had thrown about fifty pieces of clothing into the lake, and, he and Vernon only came out with twelve piece of clothing and eight shoes, three missing their other half of the pair.

"Have I technically endangered the life of the miserable fish that live in that fucking thing?" Seungkwan pointed to the lake. Vernon laughed.

"Nah, reckon they'll be right, mate." Vernon said. "Remember those Dutch tourists that camped down here for ages and were throwing bags of dog and human shit into the water?"

Seungkwan was automatically revolted at the memory. "Mm-hm." He nodded, humming.

"Bit of Chanel can't be worse than that." Vernon shrugged. "Dunno about you, I fancy something disgustingly unhealthy; like a proper British fry-up -" Vernon was halfway though the sentence when he realized he said about the Brits. Oo-er. Renata had just ran off with a Brit.

"Yeah, all the works." Seungkwan agreed. "You know how to cook it all, right?" He checked.

"'course I do." Vernon was relieved to see that he did get the high-heel of one of Renata's odd shoes put through the back of his skull. 

"She had me on a diet all the time and she starved herself for a living so there's no bacon or bread or butter or anything like that." Seungkwan told Vernon. "I'll get the rest of the house sorted and you can borrow the car and go down into the village."

Half an hour later, Vernon returned with a shopping bag bulging with bread, butter, salt, pepper, bacon, ham, eggs, beans, sausages, jam, marmalade, a box of Twining's tea, and, best of all, Cadbury's chocolate.

Renata - with the profiency of Stalin himself - had made sure that Seungkwan had not eaten a bit of chocolate since they got married. Well, nearly. Whenever Seungkwan was out with Vernon, Vernon practically shoved it down his throat. "You tell the cow that you can get diabetes from not having enough chocolate, either." Vernon would remark as he forced Seungkwan to inhale a block of fruit 'n' nut then vacumn up a salad-bowl of maltesers.

The moment he got inside the whirring down sound of the vacumn cleaner went through the air, and, Vernon realized that while he had been gone and arguing with the lady in the shop about why anyone would eat minced meat inside skin wrapping - particuarly when invented by the Germans of all people! - Seungkwan had cleaned the kitchen and sitting room top to bottom. Everything gleamed, sparkled, and smelled gently of lemon cleaner.

"Right, let's go." Seungkwan smiled, frying pans already set out on the stove for Vernon to work his magic.

Vernon could tell that Seungkwan had been crying again. 

"Hey, mate," Vernon went over and put an arm around his shoulders. "You'll feel better after I've fed you something that'll make you put on a hundred and ten pounds."

Seungkwan chuckled. "You know the weird thing?" He looked up to Vernon. "When I'm in love - especially when I fist met Nata - you remember how thin I got?"

Vernon nodded. It had been quite shocking to see the best part of seven kilos come off Seungkwan in the space of a week, because, so in love and happy the man was, he was lucky if he was eating on thing per day; an apple, a banana, a bread roll. 

"Stop me before I end up looking like James Corden?" Seungkwan's eyes twinkled like they usually did. Something in Vernon was distantly and incredibly relieved. All in all, Seungkwan was handling things very well. Yes, apart from the initial meltdown, it wasn't as though he had been screaming down the phone to Renata or already getting onto lawyer's and making sure that she didn't get a penny. "He looks nice fat, I don't."

"You're never fat." Vernon assured him, ruffling Seungkwan's hair. "Besides, we both got a decent bit of exercise looking for frilly knickers."

Seungkwan burst out laughing. 

"Which I know she bought over you because you don't think I don't remember the day you saw the Bra's 'n' Thing's catalouge of my Mother's and randomly circled bits and pieces you liked?" Vernon couldn't help laughing himself. Seungkwan flushed brightly. 

"Oh, come on, bit of fun..." Seungkwan tried to dismiss it as, rubbing the back of his neck, but, Vernon's cackle said otherwise.

They had breakfast out on the verandah overlooking the lake.

"Some cod's got a really nice bit of rouge on now." Vernon randomly remarked, looking out to the water as Seungkwan choked on a bit of egg.

"Twat." Seungkwan coughed.

Vernon grinned brightly.

Everything was going to be fine. Just lovely.


End file.
